Zombies #8

8. Doghouse

Neil: When we get to the country, we are gonna piss up all the trees to mark our teritory, then we are gonna find a pub and get so drunk we can't remember how to speak, and we'll communicate in grunts like neanderthals, before passing out in the woods!

This is one of my favourite films (don't judge me). A group of blokes leave their wives, girlfriends, boyfriends or casual hookups behind for a weekend and head to a small village to help their mate Vince get over his recent divorce only for them to run into a small snag. With a population where women outnumber men 4:1, a virus has turned the females into a bunch of man-hunting cannibals, or zombirds as they're affectionately known :)


Graham: What kind of virus only attacks women?
Neil: Bird flu.

Okay, so not everyone is going to like this British horror/comedy - it is very laddish, rude and plenty of bad behaviour. There's just something about geezer blokes that I find funny. They don't offend me, certainly not in the movies anyway, and unlike a friend of mine, I actually really like Danny Dyer as an actor. I enjoyed him in Severence, another British horror/comedy and also in Straightheads with Gillian Anderson. The movie also stars Noel Clarke and Stephen Graham who also play the role of typical blokey-blokes really well.

Graham: In case you've forgotten, the reason we brought him out here was to try and convince him not all women were out to get him.
Vince: Thanks for that lads. It's all going really fucking well innit.

It just makes me laugh this movie. I love the zombirds. Each one is made up as a different character and therefore has a particular 'weapon' that they had with them - there's the hairdresser and her scissors, the foxhunter and her riding crop, the lollypop lady and her sign. And though they start off lumbering around, they are soon subjected to 'Phase 2' and then they get really nasty :)

Mikey: Now you decide to shoot something, you fucking monkey's arse ring!
Sergeant Gavin Wright: I had one bullet left. I was saving it for when I really needed it.
Mikey: You're still a twat!

Overall, it's funny, rude, gory and my kind of movie.